Feeling Like An Imposter?
I have so many videos/reels that I have recorded and never posted to social media. Often it’s because I have this voice that says ‘no one wants to hear you talk about this’. I can sometimes ignore that voice and post it anyway but, more often than I would like, the voice wins and I give into that feeling that I am an Imposter.
Imposter Syndrome is a very common often discussed topic and I have some very strong opinions about the phenomenon, some I have filmed and not posted as per above. Let’s start with some facts, did you know that ‘Imposter Syndrome’;
is not an official psychiatric diagnosis
is still more prevalent among women, and specifically women of color, although men are also susceptible to developing this mindset.
has been reported in around 25 to 30 percent of high achievers and around 70 percent of adults may experience impostorism at least once in their lifetime.
My husband is a very talented artist who has exhibited and sold his work all over the world, and for many of you reading this who know Glen know that he is a confident and self assured person so when one morning he shared that he felt like an imposter it surprised me.
I should know better. I coach very ‘successful’ and ‘talented’ people and although I appreciate those terms are subjective, I use them as there are very clear indicators of their success or talent. Although when my clients are feeling challenged, which may present itself as, not getting the job, securing the client, getting the promotion, all of that information or evidence of success seems to be forgotten. This was the case with Glen, he hadn’t sold a piece of work in a while and so this led him to believe that his work was not any good, . therefore not a real artist. This is a snippet of our conversation, shared with his permission, so that you can see how the coaching process can work when feeling like an imposter.
What makes you think your work isn’t any good?
I haven’t sold anything.
Is that true?
Yes - well - at least I haven’t sold anything recently.
So you have sold your work?
Yes!
What reason did people have to buy your work?
I guess they thought it was good.
What other evidence do you have that your work is good?
People tell me that it’s good - but they might be just being nice….(silence as Glen visibly reflects on this statement) I guess the gallery owners aren’t just being nice they believe it’s good and think it will sell.
Once Glen’s brain wasn’t being occupied by thoughts of being an imposter and could accept that there was clear evidence of his talent he was able to focus on potential solutions. With renewed faith, Glen went on in this conversation to identify alternative routes to market and had his most successful year of sales to date. Imposter Syndrome, can present in more complex ways than depicted here although what is common is that it is often grounded in the narratives and stories we tell ourselves. Through the coaching process I can check those narratives/stories by exploring data that questions or validates that narrative. Once this block is removed we can focus on solving the real challenges, often hiding behind the false narrative.
Imposter Syndrome however isn’t always about limiting beliefs or false narratives, sometimes we feel like an imposter as we are out of our depth and we need to improve our skills or knowledge and sometimes it’s not you, the organisation, context or climate in which you are operating, is not set up for you to be successful. Something that a lot of women, people of colour or neurodiverse groups. Which is why I believe this phenomenon is more pervasive in these groups. Through coaching we can explore all of these intricacies and complexities to get to the route cause and find a way forward.
In the meantime, when feeling like you are experiencing Imposter Syndrome ask yourself the following questions:
· What evidence do I have that I am an Imposter?
· What have I accomplished that might challenge the feeling of being an imposter?
· What skills/knowledge or capability don’t I have - yet? How can get it?
· What can my organisation/group or others do to help set me up for success?
Finally, and stay with me here…..How does my Imposter Syndrome serve me? The immediate reaction here is that ‘it doesn’t’ but this is a belief that your brain has created for a reason and it’s often related to efficiency. My Imposter Syndrome keeps me ‘safe’ stops me from being opened up to judgement or rejection, it also fires my desire to learn and better myself.
If you are struggling with this and have got as far as you can with on your own - work with a coach who can help you.